I didn’t dare to add these on facebook since my family follows me there. They’re not exactly sexual, unless you want them to be ofcourse xD oh gosh.
This is the last time I’m gonna see you.This is good-bye, Damon.
I still remember when one of your best friends tried to tell me the truth, it was at Närcon 2012. It was one of the best conventions I’ve ever been to. We were all looking forward to dancing and doing a skit together. She took me aside and said “can’t you see the way they look at eachother? It is so painfully obvious.”
I confronted you about it and then we sort of joked it off, you said you would talk to her about it. The truth is though that you already had. I’ve seen the texts of you confessing your feelings to her, how you felt about him.
After Närcon that year everything changed. You became cold towards me. I confronted you several times to please tell me what was wrong. I knew what was wrong. I knew it all along. When you went up to see him alone I just knew. You promised me you wouldn’t sleep in the same bed yet one of our friends said you did anyways. You kissed infront of me on several occassions and then you blamed me for “forcing you to”. You both made me sick with guilt and paranoia. I honestly thought I was going insane. For over 6 months you had feelings for him and every single time I asked you you lied to me. Months past and eventually you guys confessed to eachother, you were more like a couple then you and I were. I started loosing weight, i cried every morning when I woke up after having nightmares about you. I was a jealous monster and I hated myself. All because you didn’t care enough to tell me the truth.
He started sleeping with your best friend behind your back. He lied to you about it and you finally got a piece of what you had put me through.
Confusion 2012 was the end for us. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was still so desperatly inlove with you but you had given away your heart to someone else. I broke up with you and you still couldn’t tell me the truth. I wrote you a long handwritten letter about how sorry I was for being so paranoid and for putting YOU through MY jealousy. I didn’t know how wrong I was until our mutual best friend told me the truth a week later. Everything just fell into place.
I felt like I was drowning. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even cry. I just sat there while she cried, for the both of us because she knew she had lost you too. Then I snapped and I cried for days.
After that you still treated me like the villain. Like I cheated on you. I’ve never been so betrayed in my entire life and no, I am still not over it.
I never got a “I’m sorry” or “I want to make things right between us”, all I got was “the one who makes me choose goes.”
I’ve needed this off my chest for so long. So many people turned their back on me, just because you couldn’t stand for what you did. I am tired of feeling bad for something you put me through. So I wont anymore.
Maybe now I can get some closure.